First Day Feels

Today was my first day of school & if I added an entry from today I survived.

August 1st, 2019:

September 4th is my first day back to school & I feel weird about it. This is the first time I’m going back to the same school to work in September, after being at home or another job for most of my summer. I don’t know, I’m nervous-excited, like I used to get as a kid on the first day of school. I’m worried about my outfit & shoes & make-up & hair. I’m wondering when picture day is, because I wasn’t in it last year. I’m wondering if I’ll get a wafer to swipe in and out of the building. I wonder if knowing I’m a certified teacher during ESY, means I still am during the regular school year.

So many questions, so little time.

August 12th, 2019:

This weekend, I made gift bags for Rachel, Danielle & Mrs. Mickle, which came out really cute. Today was my last day at my summer job & it was bittersweet, but I’m exited to get back to CCP. I miss my class from last year & can’t wait to see the kids still in Pre-K. My assignment was confirmed as being with Danielle all day. She said Victoria’s class isn’t even at Pond anymore & the teacher already quit, so that will be interesting. I am going to miss seeing the ABA kids, but I think it is a smart move for our school. Danielle also said she has more than 5 kids AM & PM already, which is very exciting!

I’m nervous about the next few weeks with no income, but I’ll just have to be money conscious until ESS starts paying again.

For now, I’m off to Florida to decompress until the 18th.

September 4th, 2019

Today was my first day of school since my last year of college, in 2014. What I love about my job now is that I went here for school back in the day & my last first day of school here was in 2006. My last teacher I had here was a big part of why I am the teacher I am. You really only remember the best and the worst ones, and she was the latter. She made me hate school. Her poor teaching was the reason why half the class went to summer school. She discouraged my love for learning, but she didn’t destroy it. I would never. I would never let anyone destroy my, or anyone else’s, love for learning. I went in today with no bagged from last year; no expectations of bad behaviors; not thinking this year would be terrible. I’ll go into everyday like that. I may not leave everyday feeling the same way, but as I tell any kid who has a bad day: “We’ll try again tomorrow.” They’re only in preschool after all. Behind all the consultations and documentation, they’re people too. I love my job, even when it doesn’t love me back.

This year I start studying and actively working towards getting my Teaching Certification.

Thinking back is as bittersweet as looking to the future.